I believe all boys should know how to dance. I don’t care if its structured ballroom, hip swaying clubbing or moving in little circles to your left slow dancing. Learning how to dance means being comfortable in your own skin which is something I’m always looking for in a tasty piece of bread. But not all dances are created equal…

• Salsa Dancing. This is my first love and it’s why I’ll always talk about it fondly. There’s something unbelievably sexy about the syncopated rhythms, the sweaty bodies and the dancing til dawn. When I close my eyes I’m intoxicated by the music and that’s how I dance to this latin beat — drunk with desire. When it’s really good, it’s like the best sex you’ve ever had. You’re left breathless, flushed and wanting more. But you’ll have to get over salsa’s learning curve to reach the point of blissful nirvana that I’m talking about. However, like I said: When it’s good, it’s effing amazing.

• Argentine Tango. If salsa dancing is my first love then tango is a torrid affair. No words are exchanged, I close my eyes and follow. Even the invitation to dance is non-verbal. He raises his an eyebrow; I accept with a nod. Then begins our 12 minute affair (consisting of 3 to 4 songs) — breaking off in the middle, is an insult. Each song escalates the relationship, moving seamlessly through first encounter, courtship, heated affair, tumultuous breakup. I’m emotionally exhausted just thinking about it.
  

• Club Dancing. On the flip side to structured dancing is freeform club dancing. When invitations come up on my calendar to dance, this is what I assume I’m in for and it’s always a mixed bag. First, because I have to deal with the logistics of where to stash all my gear. On average a women’s typical purse is 5.2 lbs. Even if I could minimize and get it down to one pound, that’s still wayyyy too much to deal with on the dance floor. Mostly, I opt to bring the essentials and tuck it into my bra. I know what you’re thinking….isn’t it unclassy to pull cash from your bra to pay a bartender?!? Let me tell you my secret, I turn around. ‘Cause I’m one classy chick…Back to dancing. My gripe with unstructured dancing is that there’s a lot of room for interpretation and I’m not talking about the moves. I can move to any beat, but where the heck am I supposed to put my hands?!?

Last weekend, I was dancing up a storm @ Slide in San Francisco. I either chalk it up to being out of the bar/club/lounge dance scene for awhile or maybe it’s the ambiance of this particular establishment but nearly every dance partner I had, was aggro aggressive. If I wanted to walk out of a dance because I didn’t want to give him my number, I found the common reaction was to grab me by my waist and hold me hostage for a few debilitating seconds. This tactic should never be used on a girl. It’s neither sexy nor a turn on. Thank goodness I know kung-fu.