I’m a laid-back, easy-going, low-maintenance, (loves-hyphenated-words) kinda girl. I’ve come to terms with not being the cool kid in school and that nerds can rock it too! I’ve learned over the years that if I want to party, it’s much easier to invite myself into other people’s functions + I’ll bring the bread (or beer). That means being flexible and pretty down for whatever, which has become my personal mantra in life. But while I’ll befriend just about anyone that’s interesting there are things I won’t tolerate in a relationship. Here are my personal dealbreakers:

• Smoker. I’m a California girl through and through. We’re the state that bans smoking in all enclosed public places. Certain cities are cracking down and banning smoking in parks, public areas, even inside apartments! I hate when my clothes smell like smoke after a night out. But the worst part, is knowing that a kiss could be equated to licking an ashtray.

• Children. I don’t hate the little ones, I really don’t. My first real job was a space camp counselor — I took care of children for a living! But I’ve been there done that. But what if he’s the perfect guy and has children?!? Like that recent ‘Bachelor’ they were trying to pawn off on America. And I’m talking about the kinda father where he’s got majority custody, maybe even 50/50 custody. I think his children would have to live in another state, better if its another country. But seriously…I like to keep things drama free as much as possible and that’s difficult with some baby momma hovering in the wings.

• Vegan. I eat meat. I like it bloody rare. During my insomniatic periods of life, I’ve cooked up a tasty slab of cow at 4am and saved some for breakfast the next day. While I’m not a true meat and potatoes girl ’cause sometimes I have a strong hankering for rabbit food, my eating habits are not for the faint of heart. I own my own cow-brand for goodness sakes.

• Nasty drug habits or follower of Satan. Sometimes when I tell people I’m an artist, they relate that to starving artist, anti-materialistic Beatnik, crunchy granola free spirited hippie, all code words for people that like to consume special brownies and magical mushrooms. I do neither. Because I like me, as is. No additives or preservatives necessary.