Back in I college I took a Sociology class that led me towards a semester long study of San Diego Zoo’s finest — the monkeys! Whenever I had free time, I’d race to the zoo and observe the primates. Maybe that’s why I’m always intrigued by the interactions of humans because sometimes…they act just like monkeys.

People call them alpha males. They’re the leaders of the pack, and the Kings of the Forest. (It just so happen that my astrological sign is Leo, often considered to be “masculine” and extremely outgoing.) In the real world this translates to confident and charismatic personalities; President Obama and his commanding speeches, Oprah and her mission to save the children or $$$ off your groceries. There’s tons of material about How to be an Alpha Male and if you believe a word I’m saying then you’re buying into the bullshit. Why does anyone need a label? It’s as if these writers believe the world is black or white with none of the gray in between that I love. I agree that confidence is sexy — cockiness is not. Dump the cocky funny routine…unless…I’m deeply sorry for those that it’s genuinely part of your personality.

Once upon a time, not too long ago, I was über confident — prototypical alpha male (except that I’m a girl). There was no need to bust your balls with being cocky funny because I owned the bigger set, hands down no competition. I was fearless in my youthful naïveté because no one ever told me that while boys say they’d like the girl to be the aggressor in dating when it actually happens, they’re too stunned and paralyzed with fear to do anything. OR because I did all the heavy lifting of asking him out (or inviting myself over) I’m expected to always wear the pants in the relationship. It’s too exhausting to project confidence and upbeat optimism all the time. It’s natural for life to have ups and downs. And sometimes the only thing I want to do is close my eyes and follow.