On a good day I’m 5’3″ and that’s first thing in the morning when I’m at my best. That puts me squarely in the petites section, but I like to pretend I’m taller because height = power. It’s already known that beautiful people earn more at the workplace than their homely counterparts; this includes height. Tall people project an air of confidence and I want every inch of that when I enter a room. So, let me strap on my four inch heels while I write the rest of this piece…

If all boys should learn how to dance, I forgot to mention they should first learn how to walk. Girls learn how to walk in heels for the sole purpose of looking sexy — for themselves or other people. Most boys don’t even have to worry about the heels. Just stand tall, and walk without lumbering. Any walk resembling Paul Bunyan is not cool.  If you need inspiration there’s a bunch to choose from: John Travolta, Saturday Night Fever; Brad Pitt, Ocean’s Eleven; John Wayne, in any of his cowboy movies; Usher, anytime/anywhere. Just don’t go overboard. If you start taking inspiration from Soulja Boy’s Bird Walk, or the Pimp Walk, (or any walk with an adjective in front of it) you’ve probably gone too far.

Sometimes when boys realize I’ve got heels on they tell me, “That’s cool, I like shorties.” What kind of backhanded compliment is that? The only time I instinctively put on flats is when I’m on a time crunch and I’ve got to run. Be glad I’ve got on heels. It means I like you enough to not run away.