Sometimes I have a thing for movies fueled by the stench of male testosterone. I mean that in the most loving way possible —  at best they’re B movie material. I found myself watching Boiler Room for the fifth or sixth time because there’s some fabulous dialogue despite the horribly forced romantic kerfuffle that made my stomach regurgitate inside my mouth a little bit. But there’s this awesome line/life lesson: Act as if.

The first time I learned this theory was when I dated a boy with a daughter. His little girl was learning how to ride a bike and she fell over. I immediately wanted to rush to her side to see if she was alright, but I was held back. Questioningly, I looked up into his eyes and his response was: “She’s made of strong stuff, she’s alright. So, act as if she’s okay and she won’t start crying.” At first, I thought: “That’s messed up.” But I quickly analyzed that she was safely wearing a helmet and fell onto a patch of grass, so I tentatively smiled in her direction. She saw our response, smiled back, dusted herself off, and got back on the bike.

Let’s apply this theory back to dating. Act as if what you do is normal and that’s how the other person will view it. For boys, act as if kissing is a natural progression of events between the two of you. Don’t make it out to be a big prom-night moment because that just leads to a whole lotta pressure and akwardness. For me, I do this when I want to hold hands or link arms with a boy. I act as if it’s the most normal thing in the world because it’s much more akward to walk side-by-side trying to do the respect-your-space thing. It’s also how I secretly get him to slow down to match my gait, ’cause I got some short legs.