Drag queens & Awkward meetings
In case you ever run into your ex’s half brother in the middle of a leather & bondage Folsom Street Fair and you’re dressed as a burlesque dancer while holding a sparklely hula hoop…here’s what you do:
- Smile. There’s nothing more disarming than blinding someone momentarily by flashing the pearly whites.
- Make Eye Contact. You’ve already smiled so there’s no slinking backwards into the dark alley. Make some soul connecting eye contact that says, “That’s right, it’s me (bitch)!” Do not apologize for looking like an over the top tarted artiste in frilly knickers. Own it. Love it.
- Enthusiastically run up and hug it out. The one that makes first contact gets to set the tone of the entire meeting so be the aggressor and initiate. And who would turn down a free hug from someone looking as sexy as you (in fishnet stockings no less!)
- Don’t be alarmed. While launching into the standard conventional small talk: “How are you? How have you been?” don’t be alarmed if he answers: “From afar I was thinking there goes one hot chick…then I realized oh shoot…IS that even a girl?!?” This just means you’ve pulled off a pretty impressive feet of dressing like a girl that’s dolled up like a draggy queen who secretly wants to be a woman.
- Hoop off into the sunset. Yup. Send him on his merry way into the hordes of leather bound semi-clad men by wishing him a gay ol’ time!
Haha. When I first read this, I thought the guy was dressed up as a burlesque dancer.
That is so true about setting the tone first. If you don’t immediately raise the “it’s cool” flag, then the whole interaction can just get super awkward when it doesn’t need to be. No fun.
Yes, it would have been a sight to see — him glammed up in burlesque because I think he really has the legs for it! On the other hand, I am too much a starving artist to find a proper editor for my ramblings & writings…but thanks!
I always appreciate a second set of eyes, or third or fourth, just in case you’d like to spread the gospel of my life.