You might think that after my posts about bootlickin’ fetishes and my vertically challenged self, that I could put the topic of shoes aside on the shelf. But most women own on average, 19 pairs of shoes — which means I’m behind the times raking it up with only 15. Over half of them are heels and none of those are under 3″ and my everyday ones hover around 4″. According to my conservative sexy secretary friend, it means that I’m always indecent because anything over 3½” is not office appropriate. So, why do I choose to put my lower back through all this stress?

When males were asked to evaluate the desirability of female height and leg length, an average woman with 5′4″ height was rated most attractive when their inseam measured 30.5″ — approximately a 5% increase. And I’ll take all the extra credit points I can get. But here’s my theory, the higher the heel the more likely someone’s going to sweep you off your feet:

• 3″  = sweet
• 4″  = sexy (the is the zone I like to rock)
• 5″   = f* me, tonight.

But it’s not really about how many inches you rock, it’s about how it all makes you feel. ‘Cause that’s what she said.