There’s entire schools of dating that say death to coffee dates. I vehemently disagree. Because I love coffee. I mainlined the stuff during college and it still makes regular appearances in my life every morning. It’s even good for you — it lowers your risk of diabetes, Parkinson’s, and colon cancer. Basically, it’s my number two food group after bread.

Here’s the common gripes I hear about coffee dates:

• Coffee dates usually happen in the day, and people aren’t hooking up in broad daylight. This date didn’t magically appear on your calendar. Hopefully you had the balls to grab the dykey bull by its horns to propose: “Let’s go on a date.” You can easily follow that statement with: “Anytime after 5ish works for me…”

• It’s too casual…so it’s unclear that it’s a date. If you’re not making your intentions known throughout the date then you’re wasting time. Who cares if the ambiance is casual? Because 97% percent of Americans own at least one denim item and the average woman has seven pairs of jeans in her wardrobe. So, deep down, we kinda dig (dark denim) sexycasualcool.

• There’s no alcohol, and I need some liquid courage. Bailey’s goes great with coffee. If you’re jonesing for the harder stuff and the kitschy-bohemian-cozy-sofa-coffeehouse you’ve picked doesn’t serve liquor then be prepared to whip out a shiny flask from your inside coat pocket. Sure, it might say: “I’m an alcoholic” but it also means you’re thoughtful enough to share your secret stash with me — and that’s kinda sweet. But seriously, if you need alcohol on a date…you’ve got bigger issues.

Here’s another lesser known fact about coffee dates. There’s a link between the physical warmth of a handling a hot cup of joe that can change one’s attitude toward a stranger. A warm cup = perceived warm personality. But if you’re positively sure your personality is smoking hot, then live dangerously — go for ice cream.