Texting game
Turkey day has come and gone, and I’ve got the texts to prove it! Because on Thanksgiving, I received text messages from a few different slices of bread — all wishing me a gobble gobble good day. I was feeling the love. But then it hit me, what if it’s a fake text?!? What if…I’ve been mass texted?!?
I’m sure you’ve heard that corny line: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. I effing hate the player AND the game — even the texting game. Because in the same time it takes to craft a sweet little message: “Happy Thanksgiving” it begins to wield the wordy weight of mass destruction when he presses SEND to his entire iphone black book. I’ve now become suspicious of all generic sounding texts. Even something initially sweet: “happy thanksgiving babygirl” has me thinking that he’s papi chulo-ing it all over the ‘hood. What happened to an old fashioned phone call?!? Because I give good phone.
It really comes down to being specific. I would love personalized messages every time I get a text. It’s really not rocket science, and here’s my quick n’easy formula:
- Greeting. Hey [insert name/nickname/pet name here]
- Personalized Message. Happy Turkey Day. Wish I could be there for some yummy tryptophan naptime.
- Purpose. Let’s have a picnic with the leftovers. I’ll bring the bread.
Just make sure after you go to all that trouble of personalizing a perfect message, send it to the right person. Being on the wrong end of someone’s cupcaking gives me the heebeegeebees: “Heeey Angela. I’m thankful for meeting you and…”
Viv, you gotta embrace these technological wonders like a gift from an advanced culture that gives us more free time to interact with the 5% of people that respond to the date phishing. With the hunt so automated, you can take your time and do it right with those that respond.
Um, I feel dirty now. I tried wrapping your formula around a rationalization for douchebag assembly-line chick hunting, and almost empathized. Over at 100e20d, N has posted a link to a guy who posed as a girl to see what guys send as email. I’m guessing your experience is about the same.
http://100emails20dates.wordpress.com/2009/12/08/the-dark-secret-of-online-dating-for-women/
Oh, and mixing up and talking about somebody else is my cold-sweat nightmare. It is so much easier to keep people straight when you have met the person and imprinted their little quirks than when you have just a keyboard and screen. I just hope i don’t mix up and call somebody Macbook.
Ah, texting. It gives men chutzpah where they had been none before, the gall to send things they would not dare say in person. And remember – tipsy texting is drunk texting.
Wow, that was a horribly mangled comment.
*where they had had none before, or
*where there had been none before
… not a spliced version of the above.
aww…thanks chris. you’ve even learned to personalize a comment! you should start to anthropomorphize your macbook and give it a nickname. i do with all my techy gear: my external hard drives are alcatraz & rikers because i visit them to access data. that way you’ll be less likely to mixup girls and the gear.
It does have a name! Its name is Kite (like the bird). Haven’t bestowed a gender on it yet. Maybe it should be a chick. My ex-wife once told me I spent too much time on the computer and stuck her wedding ring on the keyboard. I guess I didn’t get that hint nearly as well as I should have… Ahh, memories. On second thought, maybe it should be a guy. Yeah. I think Kite is a guy.