Birds of a feather
Remember that almost crazy blind date that didn’t love America?
I couldn’t bring myself to actually go on a physical date with him because during the middle of our phone conversation I realized I was clenching my teeth and my knuckles had turned white — I was agitated. A higher power intervened and disconnected our cell phones with some heavy static. When he called back to continue our conversation I opted not to pickup. Instead, I sent a polite text message the next day:
I’m going to respectfully decline our upcoming date because all I’d do is argue with you. And that’s not a good place for me to be. Hope you find what you’re looking for.
It was short, simple, to the point and exactly the type of message I’d want to get if roles were reversed. Because I can respect a person who deals with life head-on, instead of the non-confrontational Houdini method of choice boys like subscribing to. However, I was utterly unprepared for the onslaught of words that followed:
- Sorry you thought we were arguing last night. It was definitely not my intent to “argue” with you. So, I apologize if it came across as arguing.
- But, I do like to discuss with people what the situation is and get their opinion. So, I thought we were discussing fashion, art, and design market dynamics.
- That way I sometimes learn a new perspective…or other people learn a new perspective. I thought we were just dicussing the dynamics of fashion, art & design.
- But, I must have conveyed the discussion poorly because you thought we were arguing. So, my apologies about that. I feel bad for making you feel that way.
- I love to meet new people and learn new perspective, and we were discussing perspectives last night.
- But discussing perspectives, I generally find that you’ll have a range of perspectives that differ. Then, you’ll find a range of perspectives which are similar.
- So, somewhere there are also similar perspectives. So…if you prefer not to meet, I understand. But, I think it’s always fun to meet new people.
- Who knows, maybe I can set you up with somebody you might life. I’ve set up about approximately 50 dates for friends in the last 2 years. Anyways…let me know.
- Have a great day!
NINE text messages. In a row. I had to shut off my phone because I was in a meeting. Besides my own practical safety of not wanting to meet a crazy, I’m not sure I’d want to be setup on a date by a crazy. Because crazy people befriend more crazies and I’m crazy enough as is.
That is really weird. I give him credit for wanting to be open-minded (though he loses some points for not being self-aware enough to realize how he turns people off with his abrasive attitude), but you never, ever send 9 text messages. 1 or maybe 2 if the message is that important.
Congrats to you, though, for ending it quickly, politely, and early.
Yowza! It looks like you had him pegged the first time around. I agree. One or two messages is ok, but 9 is a bit over the edge.
yes nicole, just a little bit odd. only because this multiple text type of behavior is typically associated with girls! i’m hyper aware of how many phone calls + text messages i send without a reply on the other party’s side…even if it’s a easy breezy “hello, what are you up to?” message. i wait at least 4hrs to send another one because i hypothesize he’ll be in a different “space” then.
His or your phone probably only allows so many characters per message. If he sent all nine “in a row”, the chances are that he was just typing and sending and typing and sending in an effort to get his whole message out. I would have been more concerned if you got 9 texts “throughout the day” rather than all in a row. Really, you should consider it just one, long, ranting text. Now you still may think it was weird, but at least that gets rid of the 9-texts-in-a-row REASON for considering it weird. Oh, and you can also excuse the redundancy because as he typed each next sentence (next text), he had already hit SEND on the previous sentence, and thus couldn’t as easily notice what he had already said.
i agree though that the “hates America” thing alone is enough to move on. Good luck.
i know you want to stand up for the boy…but i don’t think he typed a massive gigantic-o text message and mine split it into nine texts. i’ve gotten those before too, and it splits the sentences/words/ across the messages. and even tho i wrote “in a row” there was a few minutes in between, sometimes 5-15…like he put down his chopsticks as was chewing it over in his brain, THEN started texting all over again.
but drinking out of a open container and walking is difficult for me without a straw, so i’ll forgive the redundancy.