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Voodoo magic

Posted on April 05, 2010 in advice, speed dating by vivlai

This started me on my journey of blogging and instigated my very first post! It’s been a year since this was filmed and it still cracks me up…enjoy!

And Yes, I know I look like a mess in the still frame shot above before pressing play. But YOU try taking a sexy photo of yourself while mid-conversation point!

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I got game, girl game

Posted on March 22, 2010 in confidence, rant by vivlai

This is the greatest article I’ve read in awhile.

Boy game and girl game are two very different things. Let’s be honest, I would never want to compete with the plethora of dating coaches/relationship experts that exist in the Bay Area because…I’m just not that kinda girl.

But I get it…heck, I’ve been there, I’ve dated a hobo in disguise too…well…reformed vagrant of society. Hers unceremoniously dumped her, mine bicycled off into the sunset becoming a born again Christian — it’s all very San Francisco. And I’m in love with San Francisco…the kinda love that makes you swoon and feel like a stampede of cart-wheeling bunny rabbits squealing “YAY!”. I love the ambiguity of the city and its people but it comes with a price. The admission fee into this carnival-esque scene means that I’m going to have to ask a lot of questions: Gay? Straight? Vegan? Married? Child-Support? Homeless? Do you like America?!?

So, girl game is essentially navigating the murky waters of the dating pool in 4″ heels. BTW please don’t pee in the pool. All the excess chlorine has already stripped many of their boldness (a common complaint of SF-daters). Where did all the boldness go? To the gays, who comprises 36% of single bread in the area. I completely adore the fabulously gay out-of-the-closet-down-the-hall fellas because they understand confidence — the ultimate aphrodisiac. Death to oysters, chocolate and whipped cream because NO ONE feels sexy stuffed to the gills like a beached whale. Is it no wonder that the growing rate of obesity and overweight Americans contribute to the dwindling 44% of those that feel sexually satisfied in their lives?

That’s right, I said it! After reading this blog post, you should get your tush to a gym and work it out.

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Birds of a feather

Posted on March 11, 2010 in advice, online dating, rant by vivlai

Remember that almost crazy blind date that didn’t love America?

I couldn’t bring myself to actually go on a physical date with him because during the middle of our phone conversation I realized I was clenching my teeth and my knuckles had turned white — I was agitated. A higher power intervened and disconnected our cell phones with some heavy static. When he called back to continue our conversation I opted not to pickup. Instead, I sent a polite text message the next day:

I’m going to respectfully decline our upcoming date because all I’d do is argue with you. And that’s not a good place for me to be. Hope you find what you’re looking for.

It was short, simple, to the point and exactly the type of message I’d want to get if roles were reversed. Because I can respect a person who deals with life head-on, instead of the non-confrontational Houdini method of choice boys like subscribing to. However, I was utterly unprepared for the onslaught of words that followed:

  1. Sorry you thought we were arguing last night. It was definitely not my intent to “argue” with you. So, I apologize if it came across as arguing.
  2. But, I do like to discuss with people what the situation is and get their opinion. So, I thought we were discussing fashion, art, and design market dynamics.
  3. That way I sometimes learn a new perspective…or other people learn a new perspective. I thought we were just dicussing the dynamics of fashion, art & design.
  4. But, I must have conveyed the discussion poorly because you thought we were arguing. So, my apologies about that. I feel bad for making you feel that way.
  5. I love to meet new people and learn new perspective, and we were discussing perspectives last night.
  6. But discussing perspectives, I generally find that you’ll have a range of perspectives that differ. Then, you’ll find a range of perspectives which are similar.
  7. So, somewhere there are also similar perspectives. So…if you prefer not to meet, I understand. But, I think it’s always fun to meet new people.
  8. Who knows, maybe I can set you up with somebody you might life. I’ve set up about approximately 50 dates for friends in the last 2 years. Anyways…let me know.
  9. Have a great day!

NINE text messages. In a row. I had to shut off my phone because I was in a meeting. Besides my own practical safety of not wanting to meet a crazy, I’m not sure I’d want to be setup on a date by a crazy. Because crazy people befriend more crazies and I’m crazy enough as is.

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